The good news is that Digital Parenting isn’t as scary or different from the rest of family life as it sounds. In fact, parenting is just parenting whether it focuses on the digital or the physical world. The challenge is translating your understanding and good instincts for your children to this new area of life.

Researching my Taming Gaming book, and then running the Family Gaming Database, led me to interact with thousands of families about this topic. While, as you’d expect, everyone approaches the digital world differently, there are some common tips and advice that have helped the parents I’ve worked with.

Start from an early age to find games that you and your children can play together. Like watching films or mealtimes, make playing video games an appointment activity. It’s time well spent to research what games are available for your age of child, and the technology you already have in the house. Finding a really great game you all love to play isn’t only a lot of fun, but sets up a dialogue where your input isn’t only about restricting or limiting play - but what new game you could all play next.

As children get older and inevitably spend more time on devices, it’s easy to get worried about screen time. A much better focus is to consider what they are doing on their screens rather than how long they are using them. Find a variety of things for them to do that offer a varied diet of consumption and creation. 

When your child finds a particular game they love, a good approach can be ambitious for what they get out of it. Helping them learn how to improve and what skills they need to work on makes them feel supported and understood. It can also lead to the discovery of new areas of expertise that have benefits both in the digital and physical world.

If things get out of hand and you feel like you aren’t in control, applying parental controls to automatically limit time or types of content is a great way to get breathing space. Sit down with your child and agree together what the right limits are. Then apply them together on the device and set a PIN so that you can talk again if they need to be changed.

Every gaming device offers these kinds of controls. They are simpler to use than you expect and most can be set up with an up that also gives you updates. Still, it’s important to see this as a way to get breathing space rather than a long-term solution. It can be an important step towards your child finding ways to self-regulate and get ready for life once they have left home and you aren’t there to do that for them.

This is my least popular piece of advice for parents: to find games you want to play yourself, apart from the children. With a busy family life, the last thing we want is another thing to do. However, like any area of life, it’s hard to give good advice if we haven’t experienced it ourselves. Kids would never eat vegetables if they never see us eating them. Good gaming habits are similar.

I’m not suggesting you play Minecraft or Fortnite. There are hundreds of fascinating games designed for grown-ups. These are often interactive experiences about the parts of life pertinent to parents. How to cope with getting older. How to keep a tidy home. How to build better friendships. Or maybe just games that set up silly situations that make us laugh.

Hopefully, this advice offers some simple ways to gain both understanding and confidence in this new area of life. Our children need our guidance here as much as elsewhere. With some research, family play time and handy tools it really can become a positive part of family life.