Families across the world know that the Internet is a major part of modern parenting. While digital technologies at home and in the classroom still feel new, different and ever changing to many of us, we can all agree that the web is here to stay. When we acknowledge that reality, it becomes clear that we need to be thinking about our family’s access not through the lens of if our children use the Internet, but when and how. Building a strong foundation for digital parenting sets our families up for a healthy relationship to technology that embraces the gifts of the Internet and prepares us to navigate the challenges. 

In my work as an author, facilitator and consultant, working with thousands of families and students across the world, one of the most common questions I get from parents who want to prepare their families for life online is: Where do we begin? It’s a question I love because it means they’re looking to take action, be intentional, lead and try some best practices. Regardless of the age and stage of our children and we are on our parenting journey, foundations to build our digital lives on is key. Whether you are eager or apprehensive about the Internet, having a tech plan to grow with supports your efforts. So, if you’re wondering where to begin, these five foundations are a good place to start.

This aspect of digital parenting is non-prescriptive and non-digital. But instead, it invites families to think about their own needs and develop their own set of principles that guide them on and off the screens. Building these cornerstones for your family is a great first step because as the tech changes and our children change, our values stay the same. So, grab a notebook, your family and come up with a value or mission statement that works for you. Naming your values, talking about them and living them out loud helps to navigate decisions, behaviors and expectations online.

Regular conversations about technology and the Internet help to normalize tech use. The process invites our children and teenagers to share with us what their life is like online and that curiosity gives us a lot of opportunity to teach and guide as well. When we talk about tech in the same way we would talk about any other aspect of our children’s lives it builds consistency and helps us live our values. Also, this practice will open the doors to our children getting the support they need if they need help. Make “tech talking” a part of your family culture.

Just because our children are part of the digital generation does not mean that they always know exactly what to do online. They need to be taught! These teachings can be formal learning, like a digital citizenship curriculum, or informal learning like sharing stories with parents or peers. Help your children learn online safety, good digital citizenship and tech skills so they can have positive and healthy experiences online.

A working set of iRules (tech agreement) helps our children feel safe and know our expectations about their online use. A good first boundary is a tech curfew. Consistent, uninterrupted sleep is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our children. Having a screen turn off time builds healthy sleep habits. Other boundaries might be meal times, times of day for use or what types of technology our children can use. Plus, it’s important to think about your own use of screens and set boundaries for yourself so that you can model it for your family and you can also be tech healthy.

Don’t be afraid to like - or even love - technology! It is fun, entertaining, a tool for connection and learning. Playing together, sharing content and exploring the web can be an incredible tool for bonding parents and children. Get to know the games, apps, channels and platforms they use. Let them show you around their world and use technology as a point of entry instead of a point of tension and frustration in the relationship. Have fun using screens together!